Monday, November 23, 2009

12 Weeks and 2 Days to go!

I can't belive that we have only 12 weeks to go! So far all we have ready for the baby is new rug in the baby room! On wednesday we are going to the city with my parents and we hope to be buying lots of baby things. It is such a different and wonderful feeling for us to actually get something ready, with Noah we had decided not to so that we would not have to walk past an empty nursrey every day.

My specialist appointments are all done! my last one was at 22 weeks and everything was looking just as it should so now I just have my regular Drs appointments! My next appointment is going to be Dec 11 and I have to take the sugar drink to test for pregnancy diabetes, I am a little worried about that I have heard it tastes awful. In winkler all they do is a thumb prik to test for that, but in morden they like to do this test because she said it is way more accurate.

I have been debating on the whole H1N1 flu shot and after lots and lots of thinking, praying, and reasearching I have desided not to get it. I am hoping that I made the right choice and with it being so new and so little testing on what it may do to unborn babies I could not risk that not after losing one already. (But that is just my opinion).

It has been almost a year since we lost Noah on December 12th. We are not sure what we want to do that day yet since we have never had to before. but I want to make it special anyone have any ideas?

I will be posting some pictures of me and of baby #2 soon!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

We are having a ......?

So at our last ultrasound Hank and I decided to find out if we were going to be blessed with a boy or girl (If the baby cooperated:) ). It turns out that our baby was VERY anxious for us to find out! We decided that for the time being we would just keep it to ourselves and enjoy knowing. It was kind of fun not telling anyone! My sister called me at 12am and whined " you have to tell me I am your only sister!" and I also heard some "Don't you want us to start buying you presents?" yeah it was fun!

A little while ago Hank and I decided that it was time to finally let everyone know. We decided to play a game with them and we wrote out a saying that did not full out say Boy or Girl but changed it up a bit to be a bit harder. After we wrote out the saying we gave them just a sheet with blanks ( ----/---/----/--/---/---/---/-------/etc) and every day they could choose 1 letter of the alphabet and we would tell them where all on the paragraph that letter would go. We figured that would be fun! My family figured it out only using 5 letters! Hanks sister and brother in law got it with 7 letters and Hanks other sister and brother in law had all but 3 of the letters!

This was our saying:
When you come to see our new family, you will find yourself holding a beautiful baby dressed in sapphire!

And everyone was stuck on the sapphire because they all thought that it was spelt with only one "P". So as you all know now we are having another baby boy! we are so excited! I think it was only 4 minutes after we gave my mom the 5th letter she calls back to read us what she got, I was shocked! I never expected any one to get it in 5 letters! Crazy...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Sorry it has been way to long since I have posted I have had a couple people tell me to get my butt in gear! So here it is...

Our first ultrasound was July 29th I was 11 weeks and 6 days, We asked my dad to come with us because my mom and sister had been to Noahs and he never could cause he had to work. (this was the week of his holidays). I was very nervous because of the 25% chance that this would happen again, but tried to keep positive and just kept praying. We get there and we find out that we got the same Ultrasound Tech as last time! We were so happy she is just so nice! The reason they gave us a ultrasound at around 12 weeks was so they could do a Nuchal Translucency scan which measures the liquid that is in the back of the neck at this stage. Too much and it is a bad thing.

As I lay there on the bed I just wonder if there is even a baby in there! and so many other thoughts were running through my head. As soon and she put the wand on my tummy we saw the most beautiful baby with such a beautiful head! (It was very hard for us to see Noahs face and stuff on his ultrasounds). But she wasn't saying anything so we were getting nervous. Finally she said that first of all I was only 10 weeks and 6 days so they changed my due date from Feb 12 to Feb 17th, second of all she said becuase the baby isn't the right size for the test we would have to come back in 2 weeks. but she looked at the head and said that at this point she wasn;t suspicious of anything! We were so happy! and she gave us some pictures which I will add once I get them onto a cd!

Our second Ultrasound on Aug 11th my sister came with, today they would actually do the test, I was not as nervous for this one because of the hope they had givin us the time before. We see the baby on the screen nice round head! and boy the difference of the baby in just 2 weeks is amazing! she did the measurements and told us that it was well within the normal range! and the head looked completely normal! She also got to see a hand and found only 4 fingers and a thumb! Noah had 6 fingers and a thumb. So that was another good sign! she than put a different wand on and we got to see the baby in 3D! That was so neat! the baby is soooo cute and it was a bit lumpy lol. So when she was done she walks to us with the pictures that she printed and she had givin us so much they were dragging on the floor!

Today September 8 we went in for our final test, they are going to look at the kidneys. Again I felt fine as we were driving in but as soon as we had to wait for a bit I started to get really nervous and even when I was lying on the bed my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking. Hank held them down for me! she takes a look at the baby for a few seconds does some measuring which felt like a very long time! and says the kidneys look fine you can relax! she finished all the measuring and checking showing us everything and the baby was anxious to show us what he or she was! so we did find out what we are having we are keeping it just between Hank and I for a little while and then we are telling people! This baby was just in the weirdest positions so cute! She also gave us the results of the AFP blood test and she said that everything that it tests for was perfect! We are so happy the Lord is so wonderful! the dr came in this time just so they could see and that made me nervous cause she took a long time looking! but she said to me its all normal I am just looking! Once we got out of there It had been an hour! I called my mom to tell her the good news and she had said she was getting nervous already with how long it was taking since the other 2 were just 15 min.

One thing with this pregnancy I have been thinking about Noah so much especially since this one is healthy I miss him so much more becuase now I will know exactly what We were missing out on buying the baby stuff, acutally setting things up having a baby to take home in the end. On the 12th it will be 9 months since he was born, in some ways that feels like such a long time ago and that time flys, but in others it feels like yesterday when i had let someone I didn't know take him out of my arms and walk out of the hospital with MY son in a box, taking him away from me forever. When I think back that was one of my hardest things I had to do and deal with, with this whole thing, worse than the funeral worse than watching him get lowered into the ground.

Anyways back to positive thank you to all who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Baby #2!

I just wanted to let everyone know that Hank and I are expecting our second baby! Baby #2 is due February 12/2010! We are very excited and yet very nervous. Our first Drs app is at 13 weeks and from there we get our first ultrasound at 16 weeks! I am actually going for blood test on wed the 24th to check some kind of levels since I had a bit of spotting last sunday so please pray that everything will be fine!

We had gone to our nephews 1st bithday party and Hank had a really hard time being there, he said he just couldn't stop thinking about Noah and he should be there and how we should be able to have a 1st birthday party for him as well! He then told me that he wanted another baby very badly, so when I found out I was pregnant I could not wait to tell him! The morning I took the test I wrote on a fathers day card and signed it from Jolene, Noah and Baby Wall. It also had a bib in there that said I love my daddy. At first when he saw the bib he just thought that it was supposed to be from Noah, but then I guess he figured it out when he read baby Wall! He was super excited, that was fun.

My sister Victoria had come over in the evening that day and we hadn't put away the card yet, so as we were cleaning I looked over and saw her reading Hanks fathers day card! little snooper! so she found out that way lol.

It was really fun telling our parents! For my parents we did it on our fathers day gathering. (for Noah we did it on mothers day). My sister was in on it since she had already found out and she gave dad her present and card saying it was from the both of us even though it was not. And then I had just asked her where did we hid dads other gift? and she at first didn't follow along but then she got it and she had said I think we put it in the oven! so we made everyone come to the oven and dad opened it to find: a bun in the oven with pink and blue ribbins on it. Mom right aways sreams is there a bun in the oven???? while flaling her arms lol. Meanwhile my dad is still just staring at the bun not getting it prob thinking that duh there is a bun in the oven! My mom comes to me and rubs my tummy and said to him again.. there is a bun in the oven! then he finally got it and all the hugs started!

We then went to A&W picked up a grandpa burger . Hank had just called his mom to say that we needed to talk to them and it was very important (he made it sound like something bad!) then we went over there and started to talk to them and hank said I guess there is no way but to show you, then he held out the grandpa burger and they were all excited but I bet half of that was relif for it not being something bad! So that evening was really tiring! but lots of fun! Once I have the pictures I will add them to this post!

Monday, May 11, 2009


It has been such a long time since I have posted so I an starting off with February.

We had been debating on going on a trip somewhere after we had Noah just to get away, We were all over the place with Ideas we were thinking Alberta, Minneapolis and somewhere warm. We were trying to convince friends and family to come with us, and we had talked to a great couple friend of ours John and Tiff and they said sure lets go for it! So we planned and planned and then booked our vacation for Feb 24 to March 3 at the Riu Caribe in Cancun Mexico!
The View from our room (above and Below pics)

Also the view from our room

The Lobby

Our resort

We had booked our trip off of red and were wondering if everything was going to turn out well. Everything had worked out fine! We had an amazing time out there and it did wonders for us! I am so glad we actually did go and that our friends came with us so amazing! I am going to post a few pictures of our trip.

Our Room

Hank and John

Hank and I at a local Resturant
Tiffany & I

My Toes
Xel Ha!

Dressed up for a fun night

So that was our trip! We have been so blessed with friends and family and all there love, support and prayers! And with the wonderful Women I have met online and have gotten very close to, who are going through or have been through Meckel Gruber themselves. Thanks Everyone! And also if you could keep 2 of my friends in your prayers as well, One of them is pregnant again and is in the waiting game of finding out if there baby is healthy or not. Another friend Nicole, just found out a few weeks ago that there baby most likely has MGS as well.

Mothers Day was hard for me but we went to Winnipeg for the weekend and had lots of fun, so that helped out alot! Hank sent me flowers at work that were from him and Noah, and bought me a book series that I love! My parents and my sister bought me a white box that has pictures of Noah on the sides of it and flowers inside that can be used as a box for special things when I plant the flowers!

Also I have been back to work for a while now and It is a good thing, this way I have schedule again and not just sitting at home by myself.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

Birth Story

Well, it has now been 2 months as of today. I can't believe that its been that long. I am feeling much better and I guess it is high time for me to post my birth story!

We went in on December 11/08 at 7 am to be induced. It took a while before contractions started it was around 3:15 pm that i could finally feel them! We watched 3 movies while we waited, Enchanted, rush hour, and the bucket list. My sister came to bring me some choc puffed wheat squares (she knows they are my fav). At around 7 my mom, dad and sister came to visit me and for that time Hank went to his shop, cause he needed to see how things were going. They stayed till about 8 by then my contractions were 1 min apart and they started to become painful. At 8:30 I asked if i could have something for the pain and they gave me an Epidural. I was so scared of the needle! it work really fast and felt nice. Until, both my legs went numb, but they said that it happened sometimes. they lay me down and after awhile i went to itch myself and i couldn't feel anything! I told them that and they took off the drip. I was frozen from my chin down and when they started taking my blood pressure and checking if i could feel anything i was starting to freak out because i knew that, that did not happen to everyone! My mouth got so dry so i wanted some water. At that time i found out that i couldn't swallow properly and choked on the water. I also started to feel very lightheaded and wanted to fall asleep but i was so scared I thought that i was going to die if i would close my eyes because i was also having a very hard time breathing. I think Hank was ready to laugh at me for overreacting! I can laugh about it now but it was really scary for me!

My Dr was about to go home but before he left he checked me once more and i was 9 cm already and just an hour and a half before i was only 3! I started to push at 12:00am and pushed for an hour when the Dr came in and told me that my cervix wasn't at 10 cm yet so they made me stop pushing for 1/2 hour. That was very hard! So at 1:30 They let me start pushing and I spent 2 hours trying to get his feet out! one of his feet was stuck inside and as soon as we would get 1 foot out he would actually push himself back in! I was getting a little frustrated at that point because that had been going on for 2 hours. Finally around 3:30 ish we got both feet out! At one point he was almost out but i started to give up because of pain and i guess my emotions, it took me awhile for me to be able to push again. I kept asking the Dr how many more pushes? and he just smiled ( I think he was probably thinking that if i would actually be pushing he could maybe tell me something!) I also wonder how many times they would have liked to laugh at me because also at one point when i was giving up I was apparently trying to climb out of the bed! I can only imagine! Another nurse had finally come in with a needle and they gave that to me. He said that would take the edge off my pain. I asked him when it would start working and he said with your next push, I pushed and then I told him that he was wrong! but with the last push Noah Gabriel Wall was born at 4:35am on December 12 he was 19 inches long, 7 14.5 oz, and i kept saying i did it i did it, and he said yes you did kiddo great job!

When I looked at Noah for the first time I was a little scared, I wasn't sure what to expect with his looks. But he was perfect! I was so Happy! I never really believed people when they said that the pain gone when they held the baby in your arms, but my pain was completely gone as soon as Noah was out! I asked Dr Menzies if Noah was alive and he said no he didn't make it... He came around to me and explained that Noah had kicked out his cord and died from that. When he said that i remember the nurse asking him "is that the cord?" and he said yes. That is also when they took the heart beat monitor off, i just didn't realize that that was why. Noah had a strong heart beat up until then so I am sure if he would not have kicked out his cord he would have been born alive! But God knew what was best for us! We have so much to be thankful for, we have had great love and support, great Dr's through the whole thing and Dr Menzies was such a blessing! I am so glad that he was out Dr He was so kind and compassionate through the whole thing!

My Parents had come to the hospital around 11:30 pm already cause i was so close and they wanted to see Noah alive so they stayed there to be closer! I feel really bad for them because apparently my door was not closed and they could hear me from there. (I was not screaming or anything) But I can't imagine what they were going through as well hearing their daughter in pain. A couple of times while i was pushing I had asked the Dr can't you just pull him out? and apparently my dad was ready to come pull him out already cause the Dr wasn't doing it! I can't imagine what hearing all that did to their emotions! My Sister was also there and her bf. I think that was very good birth control for them lol. My aunt and Uncle were also there they are like second parents to us and they have been super supportive and loving! They next hour brought Hanks family and my family all in our room surrounding us with love. I was so proud of my baby boy! I love him so much! Janet Haslam then came to do our pictures for us as well we are so thankful that she did that for us! She and Rob are amazing!