Monday, November 10, 2008

Something i saw online. (Letter from baby)

Dear Mom and Dad,
I wish that I could have said "good bye". It sometimes seems unfair that I was never able to say "hello". I'm OK now; everything is better. I miss you and always will, but I believe we will be together again, in time for all time. Right now, though, that seems likely an eternity. In time it will be for an eternity. Please, remember me, use my name, tell my family and your friends about me. Never forget me or pretend I didn't exist. Thanks for all you done for me. Mom, thanks for putting up with all of the changes in your body; thanks for everything you shared with me. Thanks for talking to me; I know your hopes and dreams for me. Thanks for the songs you sang, and for those gentle pats you gave me while I was floating inside you. You may not realize it, but the rhythmic contracting helped me rest peacefully and reassured me. As I grew I could feel your heart beating better and better, and it gave me such a wonderful sense of comfort. Thanks for tears you shed for me. I know you did everything you could for me and I am fortunate to have you for my Mother. I am sorry for the sadness and sorrow you have suffered. Dad, thanks for being there for Mom and me, it must have been so hard for you, trying to be so strong and brave for Mom, when you were confused, upset and afraid yourself. I will miss growing up with you, wrestling, being tossed in the air, just sitting on your lap learning how to use the TV remote control. Please don't ever forget about me. I will never forget about you. If there is something that I have learned, is that you will not find the answer to the 'why' of all of this, not now anyway. God did not make this happen, but He will help you live, love and laugh again. Sometimes that can seem very difficult when you hurt and want so badly answers. I want you to live today; be happy. Bring laughter back into the house. Dare to dream again. You know so much better than many that life is often so short and unpredictable. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. I would rather this be all a very bad nightmare, but I can't do nothing to change that now. However, you can make something good out of my death if you use it for an opportunity to love each other a little bit more, and reach out. There are so many hurting people out there who need a hand, or a hug or a 'hello' or just someone to listen. Don't be afraid to admit that you may be one of them. Be gentle with each other. On a clear, still night, look for me out there in the peace and quiet. Look up, not by the Big Dipper or the Milky Way, but over there in the corner of the sky. See that small, twinkling you never noticed before? One more thing before I go, thanks a lot for everything you did for me. Thanks for caring and sharing. Thanks for trying and crying. I love you lots. And Mom and Dad, "good bye", "good bye for just a little longer."
Love you

17 comments:

Verna said...

You are an amazing Mommy and Hank a great Dad! Hope you feel better soon. Love you lots.

Rebecca CA said...

you have such a incredible sense of peace it seems. Thank you for inspiring us all

Agnes said...

God watches everyone of your tears fall, don't hold them back.Do you know how important your tears are to God?
Psalms 56:8
You keep track of my sorrows.You have collected my tears in your bottles.You have recorded each one in your book.

Anonymous said...

That is beautiful, I am praying for you and your family...

Pete, Ali, Charlie and Rosie said...

Hey Jolene,
Just checking in to say hi, and to let you know that we're all still thinking of you and praying for you every day.
With love,
Alison x

Pete, Ali, Charlie and Rosie said...

Only me again, Jolene - I know you've passed your due date now, and I just wanted you to know that we're thinking of you all and praying that everything goes smoothly when Noah decides to make an appearance. Sending much love to you all - I'm always here if you need to chat. Love, Alison x

Wenona said...

Hi Jolene. Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly these days. Praying for strength and a great delivery.

Agnes said...

Happy Birthday Jolene!!

Agnes

Steve+Marie Douglas said...

Hank & Jo It's Marie. Just wanted to say I am praying!
LOVE YOU GUYS
Elijah's Mommy

Steve+Marie Douglas said...

JOLENE& HANK _ I have been thinking of you all day. just wanted to let you know I am lifting your heart up to Jesus!!
Praying for HIS strength & comfort for you all.
Marie
~Elijah's~ mommy

Christine said...

Praying for you.....

Steve+Marie Douglas said...

Hank & Jolene
I just read your moms blog. as tears roll down may face - I KNOW there are no words. but please know you are on my heart & we are praying.
much love marie

sues2u2 said...

I came by & looked @ this when you originally posted it. I just saw on your mom's blog that Noah arrived. I'm so sorry that he was called home so quickly.

We don't know each other but my family's love & prayers are w/ you & your family @ this time.

Sheena said...

Came here via Marie's blog (Douglas) - so sorry for the loss of little Noah. No words of my own have any value but know that I am praying for you and your families at this time. "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express...
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose..."
Romans 8:26,28
love and prayers from Australia
Sheena

Anonymous said...

praying for you and yours...

Steve+Marie Douglas said...

my heart is aching with you for your precious little ~Noah~

Crystal Rachul said...

Jolene, thanks so much for posting this letter. Our first baby is due at the beginning of November and yesterday Dr. Reed at Health Science told us that there are many problems and that the baby will most likely not live past delivery. Nathan and I keep praying for a miracle, but we know that that may not be God's plan. I also pray for strength and peace about all of it. You are a huge endcouragement to me. I love the idea of a blog and may start my own. Thanks again!