Baby #2!

I just wanted to let everyone know that Hank and I are expecting our second baby! Baby #2 is due February 12/2010! We are very excited and yet very nervous. Our first Drs app is at 13 weeks and from there we get our first ultrasound at 16 weeks! I am actually going for blood test on wed the 24th to check some kind of levels since I had a bit of spotting last sunday so please pray that everything will be fine!

We had gone to our nephews 1st bithday party and Hank had a really hard time being there, he said he just couldn't stop thinking about Noah and he should be there and how we should be able to have a 1st birthday party for him as well! He then told me that he wanted another baby very badly, so when I found out I was pregnant I could not wait to tell him! The morning I took the test I wrote on a fathers day card and signed it from Jolene, Noah and Baby Wall. It also had a bib in there that said I love my daddy. At first when he saw the bib he just thought that it was supposed to be from Noah, but then I guess he figured it out when he read baby Wall! He was super excited, that was fun.

My sister Victoria had come over in the evening that day and we hadn't put away the card yet, so as we were cleaning I looked over and saw her reading Hanks fathers day card! little snooper! so she found out that way lol.

It was really fun telling our parents! For my parents we did it on our fathers day gathering. (for Noah we did it on mothers day). My sister was in on it since she had already found out and she gave dad her present and card saying it was from the both of us even though it was not. And then I had just asked her where did we hid dads other gift? and she at first didn't follow along but then she got it and she had said I think we put it in the oven! so we made everyone come to the oven and dad opened it to find: a bun in the oven with pink and blue ribbins on it. Mom right aways sreams is there a bun in the oven???? while flaling her arms lol. Meanwhile my dad is still just staring at the bun not getting it prob thinking that duh there is a bun in the oven! My mom comes to me and rubs my tummy and said to him again.. there is a bun in the oven! then he finally got it and all the hugs started!

We then went to A&W picked up a grandpa burger . Hank had just called his mom to say that we needed to talk to them and it was very important (he made it sound like something bad!) then we went over there and started to talk to them and hank said I guess there is no way but to show you, then he held out the grandpa burger and they were all excited but I bet half of that was relif for it not being something bad! So that evening was really tiring! but lots of fun! Once I have the pictures I will add them to this post!

Mexico!!

It has been such a long time since I have posted so I an starting off with February.

We had been debating on going on a trip somewhere after we had Noah just to get away, We were all over the place with Ideas we were thinking Alberta, Minneapolis and somewhere warm. We were trying to convince friends and family to come with us, and we had talked to a great couple friend of ours John and Tiff and they said sure lets go for it! So we planned and planned and then booked our vacation for Feb 24 to March 3 at the Riu Caribe in Cancun Mexico!

The View from our room (above and Below pics)

Also the view from our room

The Lobby

Our resort

We had booked our trip off of red tag.ca and were wondering if everything was going to turn out well. Everything had worked out fine! We had an amazing time out there and it did wonders for us! I am so glad we actually did go and that our friends came with us so amazing! I am going to post a few pictures of our trip.

Our Room

Hank and John

Hank and I at a local Resturant

Tiffany & I

My Toes

Xel Ha!

Dressed up for a fun night

So that was our trip! We have been so blessed with friends and family and all there love, support and prayers! And with the wonderful Women I have met online and have gotten very close to, who are going through or have been through Meckel Gruber themselves. Thanks Everyone! And also if you could keep 2 of my friends in your prayers as well, One of them is pregnant again and is in the waiting game of finding out if there baby is healthy or not. Another friend Nicole, just found out a few weeks ago that there baby most likely has MGS as well.

Mothers Day was hard for me but we went to Winnipeg for the weekend and had lots of fun, so that helped out alot! Hank sent me flowers at work that were from him and Noah, and bought me a book series that I love! My parents and my sister bought me a white box that has pictures of Noah on the sides of it and flowers inside that can be used as a box for special things when I plant the flowers!

Also I have been back to work for a while now and It is a good thing, this way I have schedule again and not just sitting at home by myself.

Jolene

Birth Story

Well, it has now been 2 months as of today. I can't believe that its been that long. I am feeling much better and I guess it is high time for me to post my birth story!

We went in on December 11/08 at 7 am to be induced. It took a while before contractions started it was around 3:15 pm that i could finally feel them! We watched 3 movies while we waited, Enchanted, rush hour, and the bucket list. My sister came to bring me some choc puffed wheat squares (she knows they are my fav). At around 7 my mom, dad and sister came to visit me and for that time Hank went to his shop, cause he needed to see how things were going. They stayed till about 8 by then my contractions were 1 min apart and they started to become painful. At 8:30 I asked if i could have something for the pain and they gave me an Epidural. I was so scared of the needle! it work really fast and felt nice. Until, both my legs went numb, but they said that it happened sometimes. they lay me down and after awhile i went to itch myself and i couldn't feel anything! I told them that and they took off the drip. I was frozen from my chin down and when they started taking my blood pressure and checking if i could feel anything i was starting to freak out because i knew that, that did not happen to everyone! My mouth got so dry so i wanted some water. At that time i found out that i couldn't swallow properly and choked on the water. I also started to feel very lightheaded and wanted to fall asleep but i was so scared I thought that i was going to die if i would close my eyes because i was also having a very hard time breathing. I think Hank was ready to laugh at me for overreacting! I can laugh about it now but it was really scary for me!

My Dr was about to go home but before he left he checked me once more and i was 9 cm already and just an hour and a half before i was only 3! I started to push at 12:00am and pushed for an hour when the Dr came in and told me that my cervix wasn't at 10 cm yet so they made me stop pushing for 1/2 hour. That was very hard! So at 1:30 They let me start pushing and I spent 2 hours trying to get his feet out! one of his feet was stuck inside and as soon as we would get 1 foot out he would actually push himself back in! I was getting a little frustrated at that point because that had been going on for 2 hours. Finally around 3:30 ish we got both feet out! At one point he was almost out but i started to give up because of pain and i guess my emotions, it took me awhile for me to be able to push again. I kept asking the Dr how many more pushes? and he just smiled ( I think he was probably thinking that if i would actually be pushing he could maybe tell me something!) I also wonder how many times they would have liked to laugh at me because also at one point when i was giving up I was apparently trying to climb out of the bed! I can only imagine! Another nurse had finally come in with a needle and they gave that to me. He said that would take the edge off my pain. I asked him when it would start working and he said with your next push, I pushed and then I told him that he was wrong! but with the last push Noah Gabriel Wall was born at 4:35am on December 12 he was 19 inches long, 7 14.5 oz, and i kept saying i did it i did it, and he said yes you did kiddo great job!

When I looked at Noah for the first time I was a little scared, I wasn't sure what to expect with his looks. But he was perfect! I was so Happy! I never really believed people when they said that the pain gone when they held the baby in your arms, but my pain was completely gone as soon as Noah was out! I asked Dr Menzies if Noah was alive and he said no he didn't make it... He came around to me and explained that Noah had kicked out his cord and died from that. When he said that i remember the nurse asking him "is that the cord?" and he said yes. That is also when they took the heart beat monitor off, i just didn't realize that that was why. Noah had a strong heart beat up until then so I am sure if he would not have kicked out his cord he would have been born alive! But God knew what was best for us! We have so much to be thankful for, we have had great love and support, great Dr's through the whole thing and Dr Menzies was such a blessing! I am so glad that he was out Dr He was so kind and compassionate through the whole thing!


My Parents had come to the hospital around 11:30 pm already cause i was so close and they wanted to see Noah alive so they stayed there to be closer! I feel really bad for them because apparently my door was not closed and they could hear me from there. (I was not screaming or anything) But I can't imagine what they were going through as well hearing their daughter in pain. A couple of times while i was pushing I had asked the Dr can't you just pull him out? and apparently my dad was ready to come pull him out already cause the Dr wasn't doing it! I can't imagine what hearing all that did to their emotions! My Sister was also there and her bf. I think that was very good birth control for them lol. My aunt and Uncle were also there they are like second parents to us and they have been super supportive and loving! They next hour brought Hanks family and my family all in our room surrounding us with love. I was so proud of my baby boy! I love him so much! Janet Haslam then came to do our pictures for us as well we are so thankful that she did that for us! She and Rob are amazing!

Our Son, Noah Gabriel Wall

It is with great joy and sorrow that we announce
the birth and passing of our dear son, Noah Gabriel.
He was born Friday, December 12, 2008 at 4:35am
He passed away about an hour and a half before he was born.

Noah weighed 7lbs 14.6oz

and was 19" long!

Noah Hello Goodbye(Song)

Wheres the navigator of your destiny?

Where is the dealer of this hand?

Who can explain life and its brevity

cause there is nothing here that I can understand

You and I have barely met

And I just don't want to let go of you yet

Chorus:

Noah, hello, goodbye

I will see you on the other side

Noah, sweet child of mine

I will see you on the other side

And so I hold your tiny hand in mine

For the hardest thing Ive ever had to face

Heaven calls for you before it calls for me

When you get there, save me a place

A place where I can share your smile

And I can hold you for more than just a while

He gives and takes away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, Blessed be your name.

Birth story to come once Mommy is feeling better.

Something i saw online. (Letter from baby)

Dear Mom and Dad,

I wish that I could have said "good bye". It sometimes seems unfair that I was never able to say "hello". I'm OK now; everything is better. I miss you and always will, but I believe we will be together again, in time for all time. Right now, though, that seems likely an eternity. In time it will be for an eternity. Please, remember me, use my name, tell my family and your friends about me. Never forget me or pretend I didn't exist. Thanks for all you done for me. Mom, thanks for putting up with all of the changes in your body; thanks for everything you shared with me. Thanks for talking to me; I know your hopes and dreams for me. Thanks for the songs you sang, and for those gentle pats you gave me while I was floating inside you. You may not realize it, but the rhythmic contracting helped me rest peacefully and reassured me. As I grew I could feel your heart beating better and better, and it gave me such a wonderful sense of comfort. Thanks for tears you shed for me. I know you did everything you could for me and I am fortunate to have you for my Mother. I am sorry for the sadness and sorrow you have suffered. Dad, thanks for being there for Mom and me, it must have been so hard for you, trying to be so strong and brave for Mom, when you were confused, upset and afraid yourself. I will miss growing up with you, wrestling, being tossed in the air, just sitting on your lap learning how to use the TV remote control. Please don't ever forget about me. I will never forget about you. If there is something that I have learned, is that you will not find the answer to the 'why' of all of this, not now anyway. God did not make this happen, but He will help you live, love and laugh again. Sometimes that can seem very difficult when you hurt and want so badly answers. I want you to live today; be happy. Bring laughter back into the house. Dare to dream again. You know so much better than many that life is often so short and unpredictable. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. I would rather this be all a very bad nightmare, but I can't do nothing to change that now. However, you can make something good out of my death if you use it for an opportunity to love each other a little bit more, and reach out. There are so many hurting people out there who need a hand, or a hug or a 'hello' or just someone to listen. Don't be afraid to admit that you may be one of them. Be gentle with each other. On a clear, still night, look for me out there in the peace and quiet. Look up, not by the Big Dipper or the Milky Way, but over there in the corner of the sky. See that small, twinkling you never noticed before? One more thing before I go, thanks a lot for everything you did for me. Thanks for caring and sharing. Thanks for trying and crying. I love you lots. And Mom and Dad, "good bye", "good bye for just a little longer."

Love you

Getting Closer

It has been a very busy month for Hank and I! We went to Thief River Falls over Thanksgiving weekend, we stayed at a place called 7 Clans Casino. It was a lot of fun other than the fact that i could not go down the water slides!! After Thanksgiving I also started working for Hank at his shop every mon-fri 10-6 That has been something to get used to! and I find myself tired all the time! The next weekend we left for Alberta at 4 in the morning friday and drove straight through to Lethbridge which is i think 13-14 hours. From the minute we got there we were busy till the min we left! The ride home we also drove straight through. I have really noticed how much that took out of me in the last 2 weeks! I was very thankful that i did not have any problems or go into labor early on either of the trips so our prayers were answered!!!

I have had a few appointments since i last posted one of them was with a new Dr. since mine is on vacation for a month. She was so good to us she had us in her office for 1 hour while she explained everything about going into labour and what to expect. Usually my appointments were only in and out. The next specialist appointment we had was a week after this one and we once again for the 5th time got to see Noah! They found out at this Ultrasound that he is now bum breech were as before he was feet first. They found some amnio fluid this time! not lots but it is better than none! His Tummy is still big they are saying that at 35 weeks his kidneys are the size of a full term baby. They also told me that they Had heard from my New Dr already! He was saying that there was finally some communication going on! They Had said that they will not induce me untill 1.5 weeks after my due date unless there are complications. so that means i have another 4-5 weeks to go if i make it full term!

I can't believe that i am almost 36 weeks already I guess for most couples time starts passing really slowly at this point because they are waiting for their healthy baby. But for us the time is passing much to quickly we are not ready for all the things that will go on after he is born, we are not ready and never will be ready to let him go...... I am starting to get so nervous, scared, sad, almost every emotion there is i think we are feeling at this point. It is starting to get really hard to see pregnant women and new babies and i see them all the time!! But with all the friends and there support and prayer support i know that we will make it through this storm! Thanks to everyone who has been Praying for us it is so much appreciated!!

Our 4th ultrasound

Today we went to our fourth ultrasound! we were very excited to see Noah again! we got there and this time we only had to wait 5 min! we found out that instead of having very low fluid i now have none at all. Noah is still breech and she said that because there is no fluid that he would stay that way cause he won't be able to move that much. We got to see his face this time! I had asked her if everything looked normal on his face (because that is what i am most nervous about is what he will look like.) and she said every thing was fine! he had such a cute little face! it was still snuggled in the placenta so we couldn't see it to clearly but we saw it! As soon as i get the face pictures on cd i will post them!

Dr Reed came in again to take a look and answer some questions. I had to ask him some questions for my Dr about delivery and such. He was quite suprised that she had not contacted him yet cause he sent her all of his information along with info about MG. He asked us yet again if we were sure that we still wanted to be at boundry trails for the delivery. We told him that we would like to if it were possible, it looked like he wanted to say something but in the end he didn't. He also said that to induce me early would be very hard on me because it is my first pregnancy etc, so now it is sounding like they want me to go to full term. I still have mixed feelings about that!! He also said that Noah was in breech position but he was feet first instead of bum first which is really good for delivering (since that is how he is to be delivered.) And usually they are concerned about the head getting stuck but in our case the head is smaller so it shouldn't be a problem and also because of his big tummy it will pave the way for the head!

After we got our appointment for another 4 weeks and left, i started to wonder about delivering in winkler. Out here there are no specialists that have delt with this before so that is very scary for me! but on the other hand it is closer to home! I think that i am starting to lean towards having Noah in WPG because they have delivered babies like this before so they know excatly what to do! and if i can have Dr Reed as my Dr then i would feel very comfortable going out there! So we have a lot of thinking and praying to do about this and i find myself stessing about it. On a positive note just yesterday i think i felt Noah have the hiccups! i am not sure how that is supposed to feel but i have never had that feeling before it was soo neat! so i did research it and it sounds like that is what i felt! I love feeling all the movement!!!